25 Nov In Her Words: Mrs. M | Austin Boudoir Photography

 
“Mrs. M” contacted me to book a surprise session as a gift for her hubby, for their anniversary. The moment I talked with her on the phone for her consult, I just knew how awesome her shoot was gonna be. Tonight, the night before her session, I have butterflies in my stomach just like I’m sure she does. This happens every night before a session for me. I’m always SOOO excited to work with my ladies the next day!
 
She emailed me a few nights ago with some thoughts she’s had leading up to her session, and thankfully she’s allowed me to share them. I am keeping her anonymous because we do not want to risk Hubby finding out…but she’s allowed me to speak candidly about her in my private, ladies only, VIP Facebook group. (If you’re a woman and you’re NOT in there yet — hop over right now and request to join!! CLICK HERE)
 
Here’s what she had to say.  I think it’ll resonate with so many women out there.  Thank you Mrs. M for writing down how you’re feeling! See you in the morning.  YAY!

Through His Eyes

I have contemplated over the last six weeks what has made me decide to have a Boudoir session. The main reason: it’s an anniversary gift for my husband. The deeper reason: to see myself through his eyes.
 
I have always felt average and somewhat invisible. My childhood was less than idealistic. Actually, it was downright dysfunctional and sad. That’s not what this is about however it laid a ground work for a life of blending in and not bringing attention to myself. Its easy to hide in a family of 7.
 
I married a man that continued the trend of me feeling average and invisible. God put us together for two reasons. 1-to give me safety and stability to overcome my childhood 2-to give me my two biggest accomplishments, my daughter and son.
 
When you are in a relationship with a partner that truly doesn’t see or hear you, one day they will wake up and you will be gone. That was what led me to my “new life”
 
After an emotional divorce, I was finally free to figure out who I was. Embraced with age and wisdom I overcame a lot of self doubt and began to love myself in a way I never thought possible. Six years later I married my current husband and best friend, Jimmy.
 
I never thought a love like this was possible. We have the kind of relationship I thought you could only have with girlfriends. He looks at me in a way that makes me believe that God created me for him. He fills me with daily affirmation, attention and love. To him, I am the most beautiful woman in the world. He calls me his pin up. He loves my body and is constantly talking about how perfect it is. Thank God he feels this way.

 
When I look in the mirror I see a road map to where I have been. Stretch marks, grey hair, lines, splotches, scars, tattoos, freckles, curves and rolls. Its hard not to compare our aged body to the body of our youth. I long to be as fat as the first time I thought I was fat. We live in a world of superficial perfection. Don’t get me wrong, I know I am attractive but for once I want to FEEL it. I have the ability to look at other women and see real beauty in everyone of them. I would love to look at photos and see that in myself.
 
I think by seeing myself in a “sexy” light, it will help me “believe” him when he says how hot i am. He deserves a pinup. He deserves a sex symbol. He deserves a capsule of photos to freeze in time these images of how he feels about me.
 
He always says to me “if you could just see yourself through my eyes for one day”. This is my day.
 
-M